To the person that googled ‘bit missing in hills behind Benidorm’ and found my blog

I had a laugh yesterday. In the search terms box of my blog- the bit that tells you what people have searched for to find your blog- I found the following:

I instantly knew what this meant.

Benidorm. In English translates to ‘land of grace and sobriety’. At least that’s what my bartender said as he asked me when to stop pouring. But I remember taking the above photo from our roof top pool like it was yesterday and because of the amount of beers we had, I am surprised I remember anything at all on this trip.

The mountain was unique as it looked to have a perfectly cube section missing, as if it was cut out by a stag group overnight for a laugh. I am not one to post about the same thing twice, so if you want to take a look at the original post from June 2017 it can be read by clicking here.

I found it funny that someone else on what is blatantly a boozy holiday looked up with probably chronic room-spin and wondered why a mountain had a bit missing. Sometimes alcohol makes us ask life’s biggest questions…

 

 

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Thank you again to all my followers and regular readers, and hello to you if you are new to my blog!

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Happy blogging,

Sam

Why do I even like crazy golf?

I don’t know anyone that hates crazy golf. Do you? I don’t believe you. It can’t be true.

Also, does anyone know the difference between crazy golf and mini golf? I’m pretty sure they are the same thing. Regardless, I learned a couple of things from my (overly competitive) round in the Spanish sunshine. 

It is pretty much the same as anywhere, how it should be. It’s the universal language of fun! This course was decent, the greens were in good condition, there was no litter and the ball didn’t get stuck under the windmill. This and the fact that the obstacles were powered and moving means I have to give it a 8/10. Some places cannot be bothered with giving that extra experience and actually switching the power on. I don’t like my mini golf experience to feel like a tour around cherbobyl. It needs to be alive and kicking.

Take water. Golf is hardly an exhausting sport, but with that midday heat beaming down a bottle of water is a wise investment if you want to remain consistent throughout the round… Especially if the night before consisted of beers until 5am.
I bottled the win. I was neck and neck until the 18th hole… I went last and needed to get it in one if I was to beat my closest friend-come-rival, all of my mates achieved this hole except me. It took me four goes… and roughly four beers to get over blowing it and coming second.

I may have to delete this picture from my camera roll, it reminds me of despair and failure…

P.s. I googled the difference, apparently mini golf is taken more seriously than crazy golf, which is purely for fun. I find crazy golf competitive enough!

Restaurant typos

It’s the weekend and I’m sure you are probably all up to no good and drunk already so I thought I would leave you with a typo I found at an Italian restaurant.

Can you spot it?

Apparently it goes very well with mussels… Shite wine is the future but I think I’ll take a beer.

Don’t tolerate any shite this weekend let alone drink it. I hope you find some fantastic typos too!

One year older

We all get that one unique day a year, one that we get to celebrate our lives with others. Some love it, some would hold it back if they could. We don’t get to choose this day, it just depends on when we were brought into existence. It is crazy when I think about it, that we celebrate seeing that day disappear onto the horizon and live long enough to us cross that line again 365 days later. I have done so for a 28th time whilst I was in Spain, yay!

That is a heck of a lot more than a lot of people have been able to, I am grateful for that. I heard recently that we shouldn’t be afraid of aging as some people don’t ever get the chance to. 

I heard this reading an update from the parents of a young boy that live close to me, he is terminally ill and a huge fan of Sunderland football club. He has won the hearts of people nationwide and in my city of Newcastle, traditionally huge rivals of Sunderland. His name is Bradley Lowery and it seems, very sadly, that the 6 year old doesn’t have long left. His footballing hero, Jermain Defoe, regularly meets him for cuddles and chats. Very sad, however I wanted to post this as a reminder for us all that each birthday should not be met with a fear of getting older but the appreciation that we get to reach an age that so many did not. To be born at all is against incredible odds, to keep going like we do is truly remarkable. You could say that young Bradley has already achieved what so many of us have not, he has met his idol, travelled to Disneyland and walked the England football team out onto  the field. It’s not the age that matters it’s what we do with it.

I also feel lucky to have mine smack bang in the middle of the year. I know at least two people with birthdays on Christmas Day, one opens presents on the 24th.

If we could choose our birthday, when would it be? The middle of the summer holidays? In January when not much seems to happen? I think I will keep mine where it is 🙂

Travel Diary: British flags on Spanish coasts

After stepping onto a plane without a cloud in sight, nothing speeds up the holiday blues like stepping off the plane and into the pouring rain. At least my swimming shorts were put to good use one final time, a two and a half hour flight certainly makes the difference and shows how far we can now travel in such a short space of time. For that I choose to appreciate the horizontal rain hitting my face as I walk down those soaked metal steps into British summertime.

There are some places in the world that I enjoyed but probably would not travel back to. This destination was certainly one of them, it was a blast and we met some great people… why wouldn’t I go back in a hurry? There was also some very pretty scenery and can be seen in my last post here, although from the resort it was hard to take photos without the masses of heavily built up areas obscuring the view.

Of course, a concrete jungle can be an attraction within itself, New York City and São Paulo to name a couple. Benidorm doesn’t have the same effect. It isn’t of the same scale and for this the buildings do not have the same impact in my opinion. There was the odd building that caught my attention, the In Tempo for example which can be seen below. Sadly, this beautiful building has not been occupied since completion in 2014.

AFP/Getty Images

Another point is that almost every building in the popular drinking resort is covered in British flags. Don’t get me wrong, seeing Union Jack bunting tied between palm trees was a fascinating sight, it is something you cannot see in the UK. It is however for me a sign that I should probably stay away, one thing I certainly do not want to see when travelling is British people blasting out Sweet Caroline on karaoke. The odd one or two is great but when Spanish accents are almost a rarity, I sometimes think why did I travel in the first place?

I went with friends, I wouldn’t go with family or girlfriend. Some sights we witnessed walking into what we though were typical pubs were too explicit to mention on here without breaking some kind of WordPress violation. For a party holiday in a home away from home it is ideal, as much as I would like to see it as anything but I really can’t!

But why should I? It didn’t seem like Benidorm tried to be anything but that. Both Spanish and British people were advertising the cheap full english breakfasts they had on offer at the same time offering us free shots, not knowing if we had just woken up or were finally heading to bed. It seems like that is the way. I remember one waitress saying how nice it was to have a group of males sit down and behave whilst having breakfast. When that is a rarity at breakfast, I would not like to see her norm…

Regardless, I am pleased I went, after all it was an experience that I wanted to have and if I told my readers I didn’t have a bunch of laughs and a great catch-up with some friends I haven’t seen for a while, I would be lying. Did I have fun? Plenty. Will I book next year? Not unless my friends did and asked me to go.

Will Benidorm always be such a resort? Even a gorgeous £72 million skyscraper built as a symbol of transformation died as the drunks stumble back to the cheap concrete hotels around it. It would take a lot of work to change it’s image, maybe one day this skyscraper will be the image of said change, with the Spanish flag rising here once again.

Why this mountain has a chunk missing

After seeing what appears to be a huge piece of mountain missing I had to give it a Google. It seems there are some very interesting legends as to why.

‘The local version says that the French hero Roland, commander of Charlemagne’s army, became embroiled in a sword fight with the head of the Moorish army and the duel finished on the top of the mountain. At one moment in the battle the Moorish leader was flung to the ground and Roland lifted his sword, Durandarte, in order to deal his enemy a final blow. However, he missed the prostrate figure and the force of the blow cut a chunk out of the mountain, which fell into the sea. This rock is still visible as Benidorm Island and the gash that Roland made in the peak of the mountain still bears his name.’

Here is Benidorm Island from our rooftop pool. The mountain is directly behind me.

Another legend states that Roland’s lover Alda was fated to die when the last of the sun’s rays shone on her so Roldan cut out part of the mountain in order that the sun would take longer to set ensuring that Alda would live a few moments longer.

Quite beautiful and further proof if we needed any of humanities obsession with love and war.

Cars are modern horses

A sausage, bean and chese melt, the first in a couple of months as I have really tried to cut down before travelling this year. A large coffee because they ran out of regular cups and were feeling generous. This holiday is off to a flying start!

I love airports. They fascinate me. After a very stressful last minute pack I have finally made it to the airport. I am lucky enough to have a very convenient metro system that takes me from the city centre to the airport terminal doors in roughly 20 minutes. This means I can enjoy a few bevvies and not worry how much the airport parking will cost for seven days, all for £3.30.

Ports of the air, the new and quicker way to travel and unseen for centuries. Oh how lucky we are to have them. Sea ports are great and all, however one cup of coffee and a pasty would not be sufficient to fill me travelling by sea from the north of England to the south of Spain. Isn’t it amazing to be able to travel such vast distances in so little time? I would get over it but I do not want to.

Like the car is the new and improved, air conditioned horse of today, airports fill our increasing demand for travel. What is next, the space port? Vaccum-tunnel port? Whatever it is I am sure to be as excited as historical sailors would be to see the ports of today.

dd/mm/yyyy… or mm/dd/yyyy?

I fly today, 27/06/17 is finally here. That may be 06/27/17 for some readers, which has always baffled me. I find it very hard to read it this way- dd/mm/yyyy always seems like the logical approach, mm/dd/yyyy is like typing ‘United States of America, New York City, North America’… A huge mind fuck.

Finished packing: Check.

Passport and money: Check.

Headphones: No idea where they have gone, which has really frustrated me as I take them everywhere. The cheap in flight headphones will have to be smuggled through customs, hopefully they don’t die after a weeks usage.

Skyped with my mum and convinced her I would come back alive: Check.

Booked last minute travel insurance in case the above doesn’t totally go to plan: Check.

I always thought that the longest month I would ever have would start December 1st. As a child I remember the pure excitement of making a list, checking it twice, and waiting to see the presents in my living room come the 25th. This excitement never died as a child. As I get older this is still a day I cherish but it doesn’t have the same magic. The excitement for me is now in travelling outside of my borders to a place I haven’t been. Somewhere that I am not required to work eight+ hours a day and can dip my feet in the cool waters. It sounds so simple yet so desired by any adult I know. I am drinking alcohol at 11.45am on Tuesday, weird to so many, secretly desired by as many.

I will blog daily for the next seven days, I will not be able to engage with the WP community as much- wifi issues, additional charges and all.

What is your favorite day of the year? Mine changes often and today, it is today.

What I’ve learned not to say when I check into hotels

Yesterday I posted a quick article from my hotel room on what I have learned about hotels from working in hotel industry. Thank you to those of you who took time to like and comment! I land in Spain just after 6pm tomorrow, plenty of time to brush up on the (very, very little) Spanish I currently know.

The post was my perspective as a guest after being the one providing the service for a number of years. I was then given the idea of posting about my perspective as the worker and my pet hates from the guests themselves- thank you to Victor over at Victor Travel Blog for suggesting. He has plenty of blog posts on many great destinations well worth a click or ten.

I guess every hospitality worker has his or her own likes and dislikes, so whether or not this is accurate across the board is up for debate. Still, I am more than happy to vent, with a hint of nostalgia along the way.

One: Requesting ‘The Penthouse’

‘I booked a room for this evening, The Penthouse of course… Giggidy’

They didn’t book it, we never had one. Or the ‘Honeymoon Suite’, the ‘Jacuzzi room’, the ‘Top floor room’, the Nimbus 2000… presumably located behind a golden door and filled with puppies. I loved seeing the joy on guests faces when they thought their joke landed, not realising it was fifth time that day. Don’t settle for fifth place, guys.

Also If you did want it, buy it! It became increasingly more apparent that the ones paying the least, often expected the most.

Two: Expecting free upgrades for special occasions 

Okay, newlyweds are exempt from the list, as are a small number of other reasons for staying. But a birthday or anniversary, that is down to your squad, buddy. Of course we were happy to go above and beyond to make the occasion a great one, but the reason you can’t have a free upgrade or a complimentary bottle of wine is because you’re the tenth guest with a birthday today! It’s a special day for the individual but in a hotel, that is the norm. I like to think people would focus on buying these nice extras for loved ones and would not rely on a hotel to do this. I am often mistaken.

Three: Wives/girlfriends asking their husbands/boyfriends to ask me something

This one is very regular and it almost always seems to be the female, channeling her thoughts through her partner like a spirit talking through a medium. There is nothing more frustrating than having to listen to someone whisper something that you can hear into the ear of someone else that then feels inclined to ask on their behalf. You can speak to me yourself you know! I don’t know why it tends to be women more than men, I am sure there is an explanation. It fascinated me a lot.

Four: Asking for an early check in/late check out and expecting it

‘What, I can’t get one? But I emailed before I arrived!!!’

That is true, but I don’t walk into a restaurant asking for a free starter or dessert and get mad if I don’t get one. It doesn’t work like that. There isn’t a problem with asking so long as it doesn’t get perceived as some kind of privilege or birthright.

And finally: Two friends sharing a bed and demanding that I know they aren’t gay

As a straight guy, I understand that it isn’t beneficial for anyone to perceive me as anything else. That is evolution. However it is always funny to hear two people of the same gender that have booked a one bed room insist in telling me that they like each other, just not that much. That is almost as frequently heard as the Penthouse request. I share beds all the time, I don’t care and thankfully from being the one allocating rooms, realise that the staff don’t really care either.

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So there we have it, my immediate pet hates that I can think of from my time in hospitality. I am sure this differs between each department, and that I can make a list twice as long with a little more time. Hey, we are all human and I guarantee that tomorrow I will annoy the cabin crew and airport security more times than I can count before even arriving at the destination. We all have aspects of our jobs that we endure more than we would like, and we will all do this to other people. At least I can share a few jokes with the hotel staff before getting my room key, if my friends don’t embarrass me first.

 

 

 

 

Keep your friends in high places

One of the things I will miss the most about living in Europe is the variety and diversity. There are plenty of countries within, and these countries are small compared with some of the mammoth nations some of you may reside. 

A two hour flight in any direction will almost guarantee you a different language, traditional national dish and with this, a great time.
I cannot wait for the weekend to be over and to make the most of this. In three days time I will depart northern England and with barely enough time to watch an in flight movie, land in sunny Spain. It has been a while since I have travelled short haul, it is nice to sit back and relax without the worry of what I am going to wear to get me through a 14+ hour flight. If you haven’t travelled long haul, choose comfort over style and thank me later!

My flatmate travels regularly throughout Europe with his job. I feel he is incredibly lucky. Then again he isn’t, if we see our careers as fate decided by the Sorting Hat, where does our ambition come into it? It doesn’t and like a muscle, if it isn’t used it starts to fade.
A group of us were chatting around the kitchen table two New Years Eve’s ago about the year ahead. My  travelling friend mentioned his trip to Germany for a conference amongst other trips. This caught the attention of another friend who is a pilot for a low budget airline in Europe. It turned out they were on the same scheduled flight, my pilot friend and my business travelling friend. How cool is that? The pilot insisted that he would do a call out, full name and all, claiming to have a very special passenger on board, special because he was the Duke of a town nearby. He stuck to his word and from this day on I take everything I hear from a pilot with a pinch of salt. 

It cannot imagine having a friend in the cockpit of a passenger jet I am flying in, the same friends I wouldn’t trust to hold my phone for a second. 

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer and your pilots in a very good mood!